Today, Ebert's twitter directed me to a HuffPo article about the MarieClaire flap (one of the mag's bloggers registered her disdain for fatties). At the time this originally went down, I mentally filed it under "Whateva" because: 1) I can't register shock over the notion that someone who works in a "fashion"-related field hates fat people; and 2) Until that point, I hadn't realized that MarieClaire was still around.
I'm guessing the second point is what this whole thing was really all about: A person on the internet starts an uproar and gets a lot of attention after making a statement designed to provoke. I believe the kids call this "trolling". Well played, magazine troll. You've given your mag a new-found visibility and ensured that the TV show you were promoting will get a sympathy-fuck bump in viewership.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
I Try, You Don't Buy: Banana Flavored Snack
Subtitle: What the shitting hell?
So I have a bad habit of buying whatever I find amusing when I go to an "ethnic" (guh, I hate that word) grocery store. A recent acquisition came from a local Korean market where I buy home made kimchi and pre-cooked veggies for bibimbap (because I'm a lazy, lazy bastard).
Behold Banana Flavored Snack:
Note: That monkey looks terrified.
For about $1.50 I purchased what I was led to believe would be a delightful snack. The unripeness of the anthropomorphic banana should have been a clear indication that I was very wrong.
Upon opening the package I was treated that the familiar scent of synthetic banana. If you have ever had any sort of banana flavoured candy, you will know all about this banana-ish, but not quite right scent. If, however, you've lived a pure life of nothing but actual bananas you will have no idea what you're smelling.
Moving past the scent, and overcoming my new craving for some Laffy Taffy, I dared to actually try one.
You know those corn starch packing peanuts that dissolve in water? These have the same shape, size, and texture. In fact, after the tasting I threw one in a bowl of water and it dissolved in exactly the same way the packing peanuts do. In retrospect, this isn't all that surprising since ingredient #1 is "Corn Flour".
This is after 30 seconds, so it actually dissolves faster than packing peanuts.
The stupider among you might be reading this thinking that upon tasting there's going to be some sort of redemption. Like in that piece of shit, Crash, when racist #8 does something slightly less racist at the end. Well, shit. What the hell's wrong with you? Crash? Why the hell do you have to go and get me all angry about that again? I'm already angry about wasting $1.50 on these horrible snacks.
Yes, they were horrible. Packing peanut texture with synthetic banana flavour and salt. Think about that for a minute: Banana and salt. They don't compliment each other like other sweet/salt combos. Maybe it's because the banana in this case isn't actually sweet. Or, maybe it's because there's a noticeable delay between the two and what you wind up tasting is fake banana aftertaste and salt. Or maybe it's just an annoyance that I should try to put behind me. Like that movie, Crash.
Who's it for?
Judging by the ingredients listing on the back, it's geared towards Spanish- and possibly Portuguese-speaking people.
Who might like it?
Masochists, synthetic banana enthusiasts, people who've wondered what it would be like to eat one of those packing peanuts.
Who should buy it?
Nobody. Not "just to try", not as a joke, not as a cruel prank, not even as packing material (the flavour seems to be a sprayed on glaze). Just don't do it.
So I have a bad habit of buying whatever I find amusing when I go to an "ethnic" (guh, I hate that word) grocery store. A recent acquisition came from a local Korean market where I buy home made kimchi and pre-cooked veggies for bibimbap (because I'm a lazy, lazy bastard).
Behold Banana Flavored Snack:
Note: That monkey looks terrified.For about $1.50 I purchased what I was led to believe would be a delightful snack. The unripeness of the anthropomorphic banana should have been a clear indication that I was very wrong.
Upon opening the package I was treated that the familiar scent of synthetic banana. If you have ever had any sort of banana flavoured candy, you will know all about this banana-ish, but not quite right scent. If, however, you've lived a pure life of nothing but actual bananas you will have no idea what you're smelling.
Moving past the scent, and overcoming my new craving for some Laffy Taffy, I dared to actually try one.
This is after 30 seconds, so it actually dissolves faster than packing peanuts.Yes, they were horrible. Packing peanut texture with synthetic banana flavour and salt. Think about that for a minute: Banana and salt. They don't compliment each other like other sweet/salt combos. Maybe it's because the banana in this case isn't actually sweet. Or, maybe it's because there's a noticeable delay between the two and what you wind up tasting is fake banana aftertaste and salt. Or maybe it's just an annoyance that I should try to put behind me. Like that movie, Crash.
Who's it for?
Judging by the ingredients listing on the back, it's geared towards Spanish- and possibly Portuguese-speaking people.
Who might like it?
Masochists, synthetic banana enthusiasts, people who've wondered what it would be like to eat one of those packing peanuts.
Who should buy it?
Nobody. Not "just to try", not as a joke, not as a cruel prank, not even as packing material (the flavour seems to be a sprayed on glaze). Just don't do it.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
This is actually happening right now
Roger Ebert is a prolific and entertaining Twitter-er. It is because of him I have spent the past hour watching Arizona Congressional Candidate, Thomas J. Zaleski, go ballistic on Twitter.
Holy fucking hell. This guy is seriously unbalanced. Check this shit:
The comment at the top? It was in response to this:
Yeah. Someone asks a serious, legitimate question and he goes nuts. I also suspect Zaleski thinks that this user is either Wile E. Coyote or the Acme Sales company from which Wile E. bought all his roadrunner-catching stuff. Which would mean that Zaleski thinks that the old Warner Brothers cartoons are real or somehow based in reality.Also, this:
was followed by this:
and this:
At least Zaleski was later able to post this without a trace of irony:
Is this an elaborate hoax? The unsettling ravings of a mentally unbalanced individual? Or just some idiot douchebag running for Congress? I'm not really sure, and crazy random stuff like this doesn't help:
The only thing that I'm sure of in this situation is that the following is most likely true:
The only thing that I'm sure of in this situation is that the following is most likely true:
Friday, January 22, 2010
Dear Humana Inc.
So, Humana keeps sending me junk mail addressed to my father. There are two big problems with this:
1. My father has never lived at my address. In fact, the most time he ever spent here was that one time he came over to help me put together some Ikea furniture.
2. He's dead.
Yeah, a company selling health insurance can't distinguish living from dead.
I've called their "customer service" a couple times and been sent to various answering machines, so now I'm just going to send them back their latest mailing along with a letter of my own:
1. My father has never lived at my address. In fact, the most time he ever spent here was that one time he came over to help me put together some Ikea furniture.
2. He's dead.
Yeah, a company selling health insurance can't distinguish living from dead.
I've called their "customer service" a couple times and been sent to various answering machines, so now I'm just going to send them back their latest mailing along with a letter of my own:
Reserved For:
Dear Humana Inc.,
Good news! Did you know that if you act quickly, you can get my father to switch to your Medicare plan?
All you have to do is go back in time before March 2007.
The reason to go back in time is that you may get a better response from somebody who is not deceased.
At present time, my father has no need for your health plans that include prescription drug coverage.
So, unless the benefits of each of your Medicare health plans include time travel, curing cancer, and/or raising the dead in a non-zombie state, you can choke on your Brochure.
My attempts to call you at 1-877-457-2505 or go online to HumanaChoices.com to have my father's name and my address removed from you list have been fruitless.
Please stop this--I don't think it's funny.
Sincerely,
Kjhymn
Daughter of the deceased
P.S. IMPORTANT: If you're trying to sell health insurance, it's best you target people who are alive.
Monday, December 7, 2009
I try, you buy: winter facial cleansers
So, winter is finally upon us. This means: 1) My coat collection once-again sees the light of day. 2) No more of those freakin' ladybugs flying around my apartment. 3) Horrible flaky, scaly dry skin. The combination of wind, cold, and dry air renders my sometimes-normal combination skin dry and flaky. Sure, I could exfoliate more regularly (so. much. effort!). And, I could probably stand to drink more water (but, 'tis the season of peppermint mochas). However, my primary strategy has been to switch to a heavier moisturizer and a more moisturizing facial cleanser.
During the normal-er months, I use Shu Uemura's "Skin Purifier High Performance Cleansing Oil Enriched", or as I like to call it "the orange one". It removes makeup and cleanses my skin in one step, is water-soluble, and doesn't leave any sort of residue behind. It's one of the few products that I automatically repurchase when I run out. Considering this, the obvious choice for a winter, drier skin upgrade would be Shu's "Cleansing Beauty Oil Premium A/I". Of course, I live in a craphole town without a Shu counter (We're living like savages! Savages, I say!), so I decided to seek out more readilly available options for my seasonal cleasers.
Contestant No. 1: Christian Dior Cleansing Milk for Face and Eyes
They say:
I say: "Hi, I'd like to return this."
Let me just start off by saying, I liked that it had a pleasant light scent, a good texture that wasn't too heavy, and came in a translucent plastic container with a pump. Then I actually tried to use it. There are a few ways that I tried this out:
Did I return it? Yes I did. Would I recommend it? Maybe to someone with drier skin than me, but I would suggest using a separate makeup remover.
Contestant No. 2: LUSH Babyface
They say:
I say: "Not again... What's LUSH's return policy?"
After returning the Dior cleanser, I strolled over to LUSH to check out their cream cleansers, Ultrabland and Babyface. They're essentially the same product; Ultrabland in creamy lotion-y form, Babyface in solid form. My friendly LUSH SA demo'ed both on my arm, instructing me to use a warm washcloth or toner to remove the cleanser. No bogus claims of water solubility--point to LUSH. I went with Babyface because it was the cheaper of the two and the solid bar form seemed like it might be easier to use.
So, once at home I cut off a piece to use and threw the rest in the fridge. Like LUSH's massage bars, Babyface liquifies at body temperature, so you just need to lightly rub it across your face. I didn't notice much of a scent, and it felt a little heavy on my skin. I massaged it in to dry skin and once again found that hot water and toner were not enough to remove all of the residue. In the in-store demo, the LUSH SA used their Tea Tree toner, so a toner meant for oilier skin (read: a more astringent toner) might work better to remove this product.
I spent about two weeks trying to make this cleanser work for me. As with the Dior, I didn't use this on my eye makeup after the first use; and, in the end I concluded that it's just meant for somebody with drier skin than mine.
Did I return it? No, but I gave the unused piece away. Would I recommend it? Same rec as the Dior: for very dry skin, and it needs a separate makeup remover first.
Contestant No. 3: Yves Saint Laurent Cleansing Milky Veil
They say:
I say: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me three times, I need to go back to my Shu cleanser."
This was an impulse buy while on a binge at an out of state YSL counter (don't ask). I was buying nail polish and started putzing around with the skincare while the SA rang me up. One thing led to another and I walked away with this cleanser and the cleansing water. Blarg.
Yet again, I got a cleanser that wasn't water-soluble and apparently intended for use as a non-makeup-removing cleanser for people with very dry skin. The scent and texture were both light, and more similar to the Dior cleanser. Like the rest I had trouble removing this with water, and while toner did leave behind some residue it wasn't as bad as the others. The packaging is an attractive translucent bottle with a nice, sanitary pump.
Did I return it? No. Like I mentioned above, out of state YSL counter. I decided to use it up as a morning cleanser, and paired with my alcohol-containing Neutrogena Pore Refining Toner. This actually worked out well; the toner took care of much of the residue and I didn't have to worry about residual gunk festering on my skin while I slept. Would I recommend it? Same as the rest: for dry skin and not recommended for makeup removal.
Contestant No. 4: Chanel Lait Confort Creamy Cleansing Milk
They say:
I say: "Wait. What? This is actually water-soluble. I'm tempted to call shenanigans, what's the catch?"
I had basically given up on finding a HG winter cleanser when I stumbled upon this product. While checking out the winter collection at my local Chanel counter, I mentioned my search for a winter cleanser to the SA. She grabbed the tester of this cleansing milk and handed it over for my inspection.
There was no reason for me to be so melodramatic.
While this stuff has a scent that reminds me of my grandmother's Avon face cream, and a heavy opaque container that gives me absolutely no indication of how much is left, it's everything I was looking for. It's a gentle, moisturizing cleanser that actually takes up makeup like a cleansing oil and rinses away cleanly. No pore-clogging residue, no double-cleansing, and no "holy crap, what do I do if this gets in my eyes!".
Did I return it? No, I've been using it for the past three months. Would I recommend it? Hell yeah. ish. I really like this cleanser, it's doing everything I wanted, but the price is a bit of a sticking point. At $45 for 5oz, it's the most expensive of the cleansers I tried, and more than a 5oz bottle of Shu Cleansing Oil Premium A/I would cost with shipping. I figure I'm paying for the convenience of being able to pick this up at a nearby counter, and as a once a year purchase the extra money isn't going to break me.
During the normal-er months, I use Shu Uemura's "Skin Purifier High Performance Cleansing Oil Enriched", or as I like to call it "the orange one". It removes makeup and cleanses my skin in one step, is water-soluble, and doesn't leave any sort of residue behind. It's one of the few products that I automatically repurchase when I run out. Considering this, the obvious choice for a winter, drier skin upgrade would be Shu's "Cleansing Beauty Oil Premium A/I". Of course, I live in a craphole town without a Shu counter (We're living like savages! Savages, I say!), so I decided to seek out more readilly available options for my seasonal cleasers.
Contestant No. 1: Christian Dior Cleansing Milk for Face and Eyes
They say:
This emollient milk is infused with radiance-boosting white tea for skin that's flawless, radiant, and wonderfully soft. For dry and sensitive skin types. [$30]from Sephora.com
I say: "Hi, I'd like to return this."
Let me just start off by saying, I liked that it had a pleasant light scent, a good texture that wasn't too heavy, and came in a translucent plastic container with a pump. Then I actually tried to use it. There are a few ways that I tried this out:
- Method one was to massage it in to dry skin and then attempt to rinse if off and follow up with whatever toner I was using at the time. This was a big mistake, since, despite what the Dior counter woman insisted, it's totally not water soluble. There was no rinsing away clean, as evidenced by the amount of crud still picked up by my toner (Shiseido Pureness). Boo-urns!
- Method two was to massage it in to dry skin and wipe it away with a cotton pad, follow with toner. This also failed to remove the product.
- Method three was to massage it in to dry skin and follow up with another cleanser. The Dior Cleansing Water I was using at the time wasn't enough, but a Shiseido foaming cleanser I had worked as did my Shu Cleansing Oil. Double cleansing? Hell no.
Did I return it? Yes I did. Would I recommend it? Maybe to someone with drier skin than me, but I would suggest using a separate makeup remover.
Contestant No. 2: LUSH Babyface
They say:
This uplifting and softening little wonder bar is a gentle cleanser with surprisingly powerful results. It's solid so we could avoid using any preservatives whatsoever. The base is made up of a mélange of butters, (shea, cocoa and fresh avocado) that melt and grab hold of makeup and dirt, which wipe away easily with a warm washcloth or one of our nourishing toners on a cotton pad. The uplifting tangerine aroma will put a smile on your face, making your nightly routine something to look forward to. [$9.35]From lushusa.com
I say: "Not again... What's LUSH's return policy?"
After returning the Dior cleanser, I strolled over to LUSH to check out their cream cleansers, Ultrabland and Babyface. They're essentially the same product; Ultrabland in creamy lotion-y form, Babyface in solid form. My friendly LUSH SA demo'ed both on my arm, instructing me to use a warm washcloth or toner to remove the cleanser. No bogus claims of water solubility--point to LUSH. I went with Babyface because it was the cheaper of the two and the solid bar form seemed like it might be easier to use.
So, once at home I cut off a piece to use and threw the rest in the fridge. Like LUSH's massage bars, Babyface liquifies at body temperature, so you just need to lightly rub it across your face. I didn't notice much of a scent, and it felt a little heavy on my skin. I massaged it in to dry skin and once again found that hot water and toner were not enough to remove all of the residue. In the in-store demo, the LUSH SA used their Tea Tree toner, so a toner meant for oilier skin (read: a more astringent toner) might work better to remove this product.
I spent about two weeks trying to make this cleanser work for me. As with the Dior, I didn't use this on my eye makeup after the first use; and, in the end I concluded that it's just meant for somebody with drier skin than mine.
Did I return it? No, but I gave the unused piece away. Would I recommend it? Same rec as the Dior: for very dry skin, and it needs a separate makeup remover first.
Contestant No. 3: Yves Saint Laurent Cleansing Milky Veil
They say:
This make-up removing milky gel transforms into a fresh fluid, to dissolve all traces of make-up, impurities and pollutants. Enriched with revitalizing Aloe Vera sap and bark of Enantia Chlorantha, it refines and improves the quality of the skin, giving it a pleasant and fresh sensation. Cleansed and invigorated, the skin reveals a pure radiance. [$38.50]From www.yslbeautyus.com
I say: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me three times, I need to go back to my Shu cleanser."
This was an impulse buy while on a binge at an out of state YSL counter (don't ask). I was buying nail polish and started putzing around with the skincare while the SA rang me up. One thing led to another and I walked away with this cleanser and the cleansing water. Blarg.
Yet again, I got a cleanser that wasn't water-soluble and apparently intended for use as a non-makeup-removing cleanser for people with very dry skin. The scent and texture were both light, and more similar to the Dior cleanser. Like the rest I had trouble removing this with water, and while toner did leave behind some residue it wasn't as bad as the others. The packaging is an attractive translucent bottle with a nice, sanitary pump.
Did I return it? No. Like I mentioned above, out of state YSL counter. I decided to use it up as a morning cleanser, and paired with my alcohol-containing Neutrogena Pore Refining Toner. This actually worked out well; the toner took care of much of the residue and I didn't have to worry about residual gunk festering on my skin while I slept. Would I recommend it? Same as the rest: for dry skin and not recommended for makeup removal.
Contestant No. 4: Chanel Lait Confort Creamy Cleansing Milk
They say:
Comforts dehydrated and sensitive skin with the de-pollution power of Tulip Tree Extract and the hydrating properties of Arum Lily Extract. Non-drying formula thoroughly and comfortably cleanses, soothes and tones, with deep moisturizing effects. [$45]from chanel.com
I say: "Wait. What? This is actually water-soluble. I'm tempted to call shenanigans, what's the catch?"
I had basically given up on finding a HG winter cleanser when I stumbled upon this product. While checking out the winter collection at my local Chanel counter, I mentioned my search for a winter cleanser to the SA. She grabbed the tester of this cleansing milk and handed it over for my inspection.
"Is it water-soluble?" I asked.I tried for non-committal, but she was already grabbing a bottle for me to take and digging around the samples for some toner and moisturizer for me to try as well. This came home with me and I vowed, deep down in my heart and soul, that I would return the hell out of it and she would feel my wrath if the claims of water-solubility were bogus.
"I'm pretty sure it is," she answered. "Let me check."
She inspected some corporate literature and convo'ed with another SA who actually used the stuff. Both answered in the affirmative.
"Maybe I'll try it out. Maybe."
There was no reason for me to be so melodramatic.
While this stuff has a scent that reminds me of my grandmother's Avon face cream, and a heavy opaque container that gives me absolutely no indication of how much is left, it's everything I was looking for. It's a gentle, moisturizing cleanser that actually takes up makeup like a cleansing oil and rinses away cleanly. No pore-clogging residue, no double-cleansing, and no "holy crap, what do I do if this gets in my eyes!".
Did I return it? No, I've been using it for the past three months. Would I recommend it? Hell yeah. ish. I really like this cleanser, it's doing everything I wanted, but the price is a bit of a sticking point. At $45 for 5oz, it's the most expensive of the cleansers I tried, and more than a 5oz bottle of Shu Cleansing Oil Premium A/I would cost with shipping. I figure I'm paying for the convenience of being able to pick this up at a nearby counter, and as a once a year purchase the extra money isn't going to break me.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Jebus, Help Me
I watched the Shaquille O'Neal opus, Kazaam, to wash away the overwhelming dread brought on by watching Hideo Nakata's Dark Water. Why's it always gotta be children, Hideo?
I should have allowed myself to be haunted by terrifying dreams about zombie ghost children. Now I'm going to be haunted by terrifying dreams about Shaq rapping, pre-teen Weevil from Veronica Mars, and terrible cgi "whimsy". Gah.
When I'm prepared to relive this horror, there will be screenshots. Until then all you really need to know about this movie is that the villian makes Kazaam a rapper (I am not making this up) and at his concert the live band includes a keytar player and a fiddle player:
Actual screenshot from the movie Kazaam
I should have allowed myself to be haunted by terrifying dreams about zombie ghost children. Now I'm going to be haunted by terrifying dreams about Shaq rapping, pre-teen Weevil from Veronica Mars, and terrible cgi "whimsy". Gah.
When I'm prepared to relive this horror, there will be screenshots. Until then all you really need to know about this movie is that the villian makes Kazaam a rapper (I am not making this up) and at his concert the live band includes a keytar player and a fiddle player:
Actual screenshot from the movie KazaamSaturday, November 7, 2009
I try, you buy: OPI My Private Jet
subtitle: My 3 Private Jets (or, what the hell is going on in OPI's quality control/quality assurance departments)
My Private Jet (MPJ) is a shade that was originally released with the Night Brights Collection in 2007. As a side note, this collection contained two deep blue shimmer colours that presaged the Chanel Blue Satin craze by at least a year. Anyway, I suspect this collection marks the beginning of my nail polish addiction/hording condition as it was the first one from which I bought every single colour. Buying My Private Jet at this time wound up being a stroke of luck, because it means I am the owner of the highly-coveted "holo" version.
OPI My Private Jet: It's made of rainbows!
It's a charcoal grey with a fine, dense holographic shimmer that OPI uses in many of their Designer Series polishes. It's quite sheer, requiring at least three coats for total opacity.
Everyone likes My Private Jet; it's edgy grey, it's fun holographic, it predicts corn yields, etc. They rerelease it. Unfortunately, much like Buffy's return on UPN, it just wasn't the same. Yes, it had the name and the packaging was right. But, whatever it was that made the first run so special and beloved was missing. Just like with Buffy. I mean, just look at this:
One could speculate that this was a cynical attempt to cash in on a loyal and rabid fanbase by people who crossed their fingers and hoped that we wouldn't notice the difference in quality. And, yeah, that Buffy analogy still stands.
You know what, OPI, we totally noticed. We talked about it on the internets, took comparison pictures, and sought out dupes from other brands. That's why it's so wildly uncool that you decided to rerelease yet another version.
A few weeks ago I picked up a bottle of something brown and shimmery at a local OPI-selling place and I think you know where I'm going with this:
Deep brown base, amber iridescence, irregular silver shimmer with a holographic reflection that might actually be a figment of my imagination. There is no reason for this to be called My Private Jet. If the second version was UPN-era Buffy, this guy is a poorly-written fanfic filmed by Joss Whedon and a bunch of the secondary and tertiary characters.
I mean, check out this comparison:
Left to right: Re-release 2, Re-release 1, Original
Left to Right: Re-release 2, Re-release 1, Original
My Private Jet (MPJ) is a shade that was originally released with the Night Brights Collection in 2007. As a side note, this collection contained two deep blue shimmer colours that presaged the Chanel Blue Satin craze by at least a year. Anyway, I suspect this collection marks the beginning of my nail polish addiction/hording condition as it was the first one from which I bought every single colour. Buying My Private Jet at this time wound up being a stroke of luck, because it means I am the owner of the highly-coveted "holo" version.
OPI My Private Jet: It's made of rainbows!
Everyone likes My Private Jet; it's edgy grey, it's fun holographic, it predicts corn yields, etc. They rerelease it. Unfortunately, much like Buffy's return on UPN, it just wasn't the same. Yes, it had the name and the packaging was right. But, whatever it was that made the first run so special and beloved was missing. Just like with Buffy. I mean, just look at this:
Dude, where's my holo?
Sure, the brown-grey base is nice, there's a fun blue iridescence, and the silver shimmer has a bit of holographic shine but there's none of the rainbow-y goodness of the original. I found this baffling, because the Designer Series polishes released around the same time were sick with the stuff, and a simple visual inspection would tell the production house that this batch wasn't the same.One could speculate that this was a cynical attempt to cash in on a loyal and rabid fanbase by people who crossed their fingers and hoped that we wouldn't notice the difference in quality. And, yeah, that Buffy analogy still stands.
You know what, OPI, we totally noticed. We talked about it on the internets, took comparison pictures, and sought out dupes from other brands. That's why it's so wildly uncool that you decided to rerelease yet another version.
A few weeks ago I picked up a bottle of something brown and shimmery at a local OPI-selling place and I think you know where I'm going with this:
Deep brown base, amber iridescence, irregular silver shimmer with a holographic reflection that might actually be a figment of my imagination. There is no reason for this to be called My Private Jet. If the second version was UPN-era Buffy, this guy is a poorly-written fanfic filmed by Joss Whedon and a bunch of the secondary and tertiary characters.
I mean, check out this comparison:
Left to right: Re-release 2, Re-release 1, Original
I almost feel like I'm being too harsh. On its own, the most recent version is nice and not quite like anything else currently in my stash. If it had been released as a new shade with one of the recent collections I'd be all over that shit. They could've bumped one of the reds from their current holiday collection and called this "Coal in my stocking" or "Hot Toddy" or something and I would've loved it. Instead, they tried to cash in by producing a substandard version of what was originally great when it seems that they're entirely capable of reproducing the original.
If you're looking for a black/grey polish with holographic shimmer and you can't track down a bottle of the original, there are options:
While none of these have the same rainbow effect that the OPI does, they all at least have a noticeable holographic shimmer. Icing Blackout is a deep glossy black with holographic silver glitter that's chunkier and more sparse than MPJ. Sally Hansen Night Lights in the Hard as Nails Xtreme Wear formula is a dark grey with silver holographic micro-glitter that, again, is more sparse than MPJ. Claire's Quicksand is a brown-grey base with a slight metallic sheen and silver micro-glitter.
While all of these have strong holographic shine, none of these have the same rainbow effect that MPJ does. I assume this is due to the fact that they're glitters as opposed to the silver holo shimmer/pearl that makes up the OPI, and that the shimmer in the OPI is quite dense. If you're after the rainbow, and you're a DIY type, I would pick up a bottle of OPI Designer Series Coronation or its more-holo, but harder to find cousin OPI Paris Couture for Sure. These two have all the holo and none of the colour. They're almost too pigmented to use as a topcoat, but you could probably franken them with a bit of black polish or pigment to simulate the original MPJ.
If you're looking for a black/grey polish with holographic shimmer and you can't track down a bottle of the original, there are options:
While none of these have the same rainbow effect that the OPI does, they all at least have a noticeable holographic shimmer. Icing Blackout is a deep glossy black with holographic silver glitter that's chunkier and more sparse than MPJ. Sally Hansen Night Lights in the Hard as Nails Xtreme Wear formula is a dark grey with silver holographic micro-glitter that, again, is more sparse than MPJ. Claire's Quicksand is a brown-grey base with a slight metallic sheen and silver micro-glitter.While all of these have strong holographic shine, none of these have the same rainbow effect that MPJ does. I assume this is due to the fact that they're glitters as opposed to the silver holo shimmer/pearl that makes up the OPI, and that the shimmer in the OPI is quite dense. If you're after the rainbow, and you're a DIY type, I would pick up a bottle of OPI Designer Series Coronation or its more-holo, but harder to find cousin OPI Paris Couture for Sure. These two have all the holo and none of the colour. They're almost too pigmented to use as a topcoat, but you could probably franken them with a bit of black polish or pigment to simulate the original MPJ.
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