This is way better than my own estimate of 5 seconds.

I could survive for 41 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Created by Bunk Beds Pedia

Found via Rob Hubel

I don't want no freakin' monkeys using my sink

Sink Showering Monkey


What I really enjoy is the guy's dispassionate monotone amid all the perky "wash, wash, wash".

Via Cute Overload (I know, right?).

Go buy some Fig Newmans

Philanthropist, salad dressing maker, race car driver Paul Newman died on Friday. I liked his films, but my love of Paul Newman came from his charity work, sexagenarian race car driving, and goofy Late Show appearances. Remember "Where the hell are the singing cats?".

That Late Show clip isn't embeddable, and isn't the greatest quality, so here's an Italian Barilla ad:

That guy who called me a "pink-o bleeding heart liberal" was totally wrong

Ha. Shows what you knew, dad.

My Liberal Identity:

You are a Reality-Based Intellectualist, also known as the liberal elite. You are a proud member of what’s known as the reality-based community, where science, reason, and non-Jesus-based thought reign supreme.

Take the quiz at www.FightConservatives.com

Found via Pajiba Love (some previous edition)

I love you, David Letterman

I'm so totally old these days, that I can't manage to stay up late enough to watch Letterman. Thank Jebus for the internets. Courtesy of Huffington Post, I was able to see these clips of Wednesday's Late Show when McCunt ducked out.



Ahh, David, if I could sacrifice some portion of my life to prolong yours, I would.

Hello Nasty

The Corpus Clock & Chronophage


Finally, my love of unique timepieces and creepy scary animal things comes together in the most perfect way possible.

Admittedly, with the shiny gold finish, I think it looks like it should be on display with fiber-optic Virgin Mary/waterfall lamps at a flea market. However, I think that just adds to its inherent charms. The close up of the Chronophage--the grasshopper/wasp/dragon thing on top--creeped me the hell out. With its hinged jaw, blinking eyes, and big pointy spider legs, it looks like one of the scarier muppets that populated my childhood nightmares.

Aesthetically pleasing or not, this clock is made of pure unadulterated awesome.

She's Crafty: Cross Stitched Baby Bib

Stitched by me for a friend's new baby. The hardest part was finding a decent picture of Tupac's actual tattoo. I suppose I could've just written "Thug Life" in some sort of old-tyme font, but I figured if I was going to do this I should do it right.


I didn't know it before, but "Thug Life" actually stood for "The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everybody". With that in mind, why would you not dress an infant in something that says Thug Life?

If you don't go for bizarre acronyms, and want to define thug in the traditional sense, you could consider the Edward Gorey school of thought:
It works on so many levels.