Baby/Mama

I was going to write something about the new Tina Fey/Amy Poehler movie and my utter contempt for the whole "successful career woman suddenly decides she needs/unexpectedly acquires a child and finds that the experience improves her life" genre. Predictably, it quickly became completely incoherent, and was mostly about how I was disappointed by Fey, Poehler, Sigourney Weaver, and Maura Tierney for being involved in this tripe; as well as Diane Keaton for starring in Baby Boom some twenty years ago.

Besides, I haven't even seen the film.

Anyway, in the comments section for the Pajiba review of this film someone registered their distate for babies, referring to them as "selfish subhumans that cry all the time".

"Subhuman" designation aside, that could apply to my mother.

No wonder I don't want a child.

Hillbilly Logic

Not being the product of years of inbreeding, I don't fully understand the ways of those "Sons of the Soil". I suppose this bullshit about Hillbilly Pop Star's Vanity Fair spread tells me all I need to know.

In a nutshell:

Good

Bad

One could argue that Trailer Trash just wanted attention, or that Rodent-Themed Parent Corporation flipped the hell out, but the lack of reaction when photo #1 came out suggests that she really is skeeved by the VF pictures.

It reminds me of the time we were having dinner, and my brother swapped his fillet mignon for a kid's chicken nugget meal with extra ranch dressing.

Notably, they weren't outraged by the one picture from that shoot that creeped me the fuck out.

I'm a PC

Just when I thought that assy ad campaign was over, there it is again.

It was sort of amusing at first, but it quickly grew tiresome. Now, I'm left pondering this:

If the ad is pro-Mac, why is John Hodgman the PC?

I'm proud to see my operating system anthropomorphized by the man who taught me about the furry old lobster, was featured in one of my favourite installments of This American Life ever, and is a correspondent for The Daily Show.

Of course, if you're comfortable being represented by the guy from Dodgeball, that's your business.

Strange Days...

So, a mild tremor from an earthquake woke me up the other morning. Note, when I say "woke me up", I mean "roused me just enough to readjust my blindfold, think 'why the hell is the train running so early?', and promptly fall back asleep".

This may not seem odd until you take into account the fact that I am firmly embedded in Middle America. And there aren't any trains that run near my apartment.

I probably would've forgotten the whole thing had it not been for the fact that the first thing I heard on the radio was "...early-morning earthquake in southern Illinois". This was something of a shock to me, as I had spent my entire life under the impression that there weren't any earthquake-causing fault lines in this part of the country. I figured it was a trade-off for our lack of fresh seafood and the idiot Two-and-a-Half Men-watching stereotypes.

How wrong I was. It turns out the New Madrid zone sprawls across southern Illinois, Missouri, Kentucky, Arkansas, and Tennessee; and it was the site of three or four of the biggest earthquakes ever recorded in the US. I don't want to freak out, but holy shit! It turns out scientists have been speculating that this region's due for a "Big One". Some time. Like, between now and 2040. Yeah, I'm suddenly not too concerned about it.


In an appropriately odd end to my day, I also learned that Bai Ling has a blog.

The kids listen to the rap music, which gives them the brain damage

Apparently, Bill Cosby has recorded a hip hop album.

My response?

Please, you couldn't even turn in to Bill Bixby.

The first indication that the new Edward Norton Incredible Hulk film might suck?
The fact that they went ahead and made it despite the general assyness of the whole Hulk franchise and especially the previous Ang Lee-directed installment.

The second? The trailer.

If those things don't put you off, consider the official poster. Notably, Edward Norton's all-denim outfit:

Nothing says "mediocre" like a man in head-to-toe denim.
Edit to add: Holy Shit! It looks like he even has a denim shirt on under the jacket.

Still, if you're really keen on watching Edward Norton switch between pathetic little bitch and ultra-violent maniac, allow me to recommend a double feature of Everyone Says I Love You and either American History X or Fight Club.

Connecting white witches on the Moor with pre-raphaelites down in Broomhall

I saw the original Wicker Man a few years ago. It was regularly mentioned in the British movie magazine Hot Dog, Pulp had a song called "Wicker Man" on their final CD, and there was that episode of Coupling where it was mentioned.

So, thanks to Netflix, I watched.

I think I found the musical interludes too off putting to actually enjoy the film on any level, and I suspect the great love some people have for the film comes from the fact that Britt Ecklund gets naked (also while singing). Yeesh. Singing. I just couldn't get past that. Seriously, check this shit:

Yeah, I don't even know what to say to that. It's just unsettling.

Still, that weirdness seemed to be the general tone of films from the '70's. Just look at Zardoz.

That sort of weird campyness and inexplicable insanity must have been a requirement.

Of course, that doesn't explain the 2006 Wicker Man remake. Neil Labute, you made In the Company of Men. You should know better. Shame.

The only redeeming quality is the--I'm assuming--unintentional hilarity of the film. I haven't worked up the nerve to watch the whole thing yet, but thanks to the Internets, I can see all I need:

I could watch that scene with the bees all day long.