Drinksgiving 2010

Movie 1: Resident Evil
Drink: Coffee with Peppermint Mocha Kahlua (cordial)

Sweet Jebus, I love this Peppermint Mocha Kahlua.

0824: I've seen this movie so many times, and I always seem to forget that the first 30 minutes exist.

0830: Also, did that computer animation (like, the maps and shit) look sophisticated when this was made?

0837: That's right; there's really no point in watching this until the killer laser hallway. Possibly no reason to continue, but I started this and I'm going to end it.

0852: I love movie/TV labs with their flasks full of brightly colored water.

0901: Gah! Hair and fingernails do not continue to grow, you stupid movie computer brain thing. Don't base your fake movie science around something that's debunked by 5th grade science class.

0923: Oh, Paul WS Anderson, you're all inexplicable musical cues and shoddy attempts at misdirection. Don't ever change.

0935: My copy of this movie has all three on a single DVD. I can't tell if the first one ended and the second started without end credits, or if this movie is actually still going.

0937: No, that movie was totally over.

Movie 2: Max Payne
Drink: Bloody Mary (vodka)

0939: WTF? Did this DVD just play a non-smoking ad? More WTF? Don Draper and Jennifer Connoly were in the Day the Earth Stood Still remake?

0951: Marky Mark's opening narration - he's doing the Christian Bale Batman thing. I wonder if he talks like that for the entire movie.

1000: He doesn't, but Mila Kunis up in this bitch.

1008: Most of what I remember about the game is shooting shit. Were the druggy winged-shadow freakouts part of the game?

1017: Beau Bridges & Chris O'Donnell? This movie has the weirdest cast.

1053: For a guy who's supposed to be all pissed off and vengance-y, Marky Mark is profoundly bland.

1113: As much as the acting sucks and the plotline is incomprehensible, this movie looks amazing.

1119: Drink 3: Tequila Sunrise (tequila) And I should amend my previous comment. The set design looks amazing, the fire & demon cgi looks like ass.

Movie 3: Double Dragon

1140: You can play online here: http://nintendo8.com/game/745/double_dragon/ I got so distracted playing that I totally forgot that I was watching a movie

1144: I knew Scott Wolf was in this, but I didn't know that Robert Patrick would be the stereotypical 90's villain.

1151: I love movies that show us recent past as the future. Silly movie, there aren't any station wagons to convert in to rocket cars any more. Strangely, Vanna White and George Hamilton of 2007 did still look exactly like they did in 1994.

1205: So instead of being burly adult martial arts experts like in the video games, the movie brothers are teenage mutant ninja turtles in human form.? And the Asian one grows up to be the Chairman on Iron Chef America?

1229: I just realized that Robert Patrick's blazer has a zipper. This movie would be way more engaging if it focused on him instead of Scott Wolf, Chairman Kaga, and Alyssa Milano.

1243: Goddamnit. If you've got a necklace that someone is trying to steal from you, maybe you shouldn't wear it around your neck on the outside of your fucking shirt.

1250: "Now Who's the Boss?" Really, movie?

1351: After a break to cook and get some air, I'm back on track.
Movie 4: Tomb Raider 2
Drink 5: Gin & Tonic- I had Drink 4 (Rum & Diet Coke) during Double Dragon

1401: Why do the "prized artifacts" in these types of movies always look like something bought from a Hammacher Schlemmer catalogue?

1403: She punched a shark in the face. There is no way that this movie could get better than that.

1438: I finally figured it out: Her tech guy is Seth Green + BJ Novak + British

1458: I feel like this is the second thing I've watched this week that featured someone making a getaway by hang gliding. That has got to be the worst means of escape ever.

1510: Ugh, I get it she's in Africa. Is it really necessary to drive the point home by showing them drive past herds of animals? This movie feels long enough.

1520: What the hell? It's like the movie just turned in to The Descent or something.

1547: Movie 5 - Mortal Kombat
Drink 6: Bourbon & Soda (I'm substituting this for the bourbon/cognac broup)
I don't know why I was surprised when this opened with the bad techno Moral Kombat song. Also, you can't sit straight up with you wake up from a dream. It's physiologically impossible.

1557: The first appearance of Christopher Lambert gives me hope that this movie will be hysterically bad.

1658: Suspicion confirmed. Also, what's up with these martial arts movies where two buys fight, but wait while their opponent get his/her fighting stance right?

1727: I don't know how much more I can take, but
Movie 6: Hitman
I'm just finishing off that Bourbon, and I'm going to drink a litre of water

1823: This movie has turned out to be surprisingly watchable. It's probably related to my having recently finished Deadwood.
Drink 7: Glenlivet Nadurra 16-year scotch

1903: Movie 7: Super Mario Brothers
I remember seeing ads for this when it came out, and even as a child I thought it looked like shit.

1940: This movie doesn't make any damn sense. I thought the Goombas were mushroom things. Luigi is wearing red, and Mario is in grey. It was pretty damn satisfying to see Dennis Hopper try to kill John Leguazamo.
Unrelated to this movie, but I don't know why I just thought of it: something I was watching previously used the sound of bowling pins benig knocked down when some guy fell down the stairs. I think it was Mortal Kombat.

2002: This movie is like someone took all of the sets and costumes from Total Recall and decided to attempt to cram a horrible, money-grubbing videogame adaptation in to it.

2033: This movie just had a shot of the World Trade Center towers disintegrating. That was the last thing I expected to see today.

2036: That wind-up toy bomb had a bizarre product placement thing for Reebok. And holy carp, Lance Henricksen! There's a part of me that wants to watch this movie forever and try to figure out what the hell was going on.

2107: Movie 8: Street Fighter
Drink 9: Furthermore Fallen Apple Ale
Jebus, how much of the budget for this film go towards sound effects artists and Van Damme's hair dye?

2216: I was going to attempt to watch the new Street Fighter tonight, but this one just doesn't end. What did the budget of this film go towards? It sure as hell wasn't a script, special effects, or production design.