Ow

So, I recently went to the dentist for the first time in about 5 years. Given that I've never made it through an exam without a new cavity being spotted, I should really try to give a fuck about my teeth, and see the dentist at least once a year. This long absence was due to a number of factors including: 1) College, 2) Crappy insurance-lacking temp jobs, 3) Crappy health insurance plans that lack dental coverage, and 4) I just didn't feel like it. The shit state of my teeth makes me not at all willing to visit the dentist, especially now that I'm the one paying for it.

I've gone to the same place since I was a kid. It's where my mother went as a kid, and while there was a change in ownership at some point, all of the crap wasn't moved. The chairs, the spit sinks, even the Christian-themed children's books are all still there. I think some of the equipment has been there since my mother was a kid. The only thing that's changed is the music they play (smooth jazz when I was a kid, new age crap today).

Anyway, the whole thing was much less catastrophic than I expected. I didn't choke on the x-ray films (which I manage to do 60% of the time), there was minimal bleeding during the cleaning, and the horrible tooth pain that sent me there turned out to be a loose filling.

Um, yeah. Last Sunday I found a place that sold White Rabbit caramels, so I ate half a bag with reckless abandon. The next morning one of my molars hurt like a son of a bitch when I was eating breakfast. For some reason, I assumed that I had uncovered a massive cavity that would make my dentist recoil in horror and instantly rip out the offending tooth and throw it in the fire.

In the end, it was pretty easy. A shot of Novocaine, a quick fix, and I was sent on my way with a free toothbrush. I didn't even get a snotty "You have to floss every day" lecture.

I was disappointed to learn that they don't offer the gas, but I somehow managed to simulate the effects of nitrous oxide when I couldn't stop thinking of the following Simpsons scene.