Those useless trees produce the air that I am breathing

I never fully bought in to the cult of M. Night Shamalyn (yeah, I'm not going to look up the actual spelling). I didn't like The Sixth Sense that much because I knew the "twist" going in, and Bruce Willis and children are two things that I'd rather take a broken glass enema than watch.

I endured the endless tedium of Signs, pondering why those hillbillies didn't run the Indian guy out of town after he vehicular manslaughtered someone. Plus, nothing made me rage quite as hard as the film's final "message" about how his god makes everything happen for a reason.

When I was dragged to The Village, I brought along a water bottle full of vodka and snarked, "I bet it's, like, modern times, and they're just fucking Amish or something", in the theater before the movie started.

That said, I was momentarily intrigued by The Happening. When I first read the synopsis, I though, "Huh, that might not be complete ass." Then I took some time to think about it and realized that even if I could get past the Shaymalan-ness of it, the presence of Marky Mark almost guaranteed suckitude.* The reviews I've read seem to support that suspicion. And killer plant spores? Come on!
*Edit: The involvement of Betty Buckley assuredly spells pure unadulterated ass. Don't believe me? Just try watching an episode of Oz that featured her.

I'm not saying I'll never ever watch this crapfest. I'm just saying I'd rather eat $10 in quarters than pay to watch it.

Besides, I've already seen this movie, and it was Japanese and freaky as fuck. Yes, Suicide Circle was a hot mess of a film that starts out crazy, derails about 2/3 of the way through and gets crazier, and then manages to go back on track for a not-entirely-shocking reveal (yes, a twist) that still managed to creep me the fuck out. I'm not saying it's a great film, but it's creepy and available from Netflix.

If unsettling movies about mass suicide float your boat, check it out. And, if you're still looking for some menacing plant life, rewatch that scene with the apple trees from The Wizard of Oz.