I Try, You Don't Buy: Banana Flavored Snack

Subtitle: What the shitting hell?

So I have a bad habit of buying whatever I find amusing when I go to an "ethnic" (guh, I hate that word) grocery store. A recent acquisition came from a local Korean market where I buy home made kimchi and pre-cooked veggies for bibimbap (because I'm a lazy, lazy bastard).
Behold Banana Flavored Snack:

Note: That monkey looks terrified.

For about $1.50 I purchased what I was led to believe would be a delightful snack. The unripeness of the anthropomorphic banana should have been a clear indication that I was very wrong.

Upon opening the package I was treated that the familiar scent of synthetic banana. If you have ever had any sort of banana flavoured candy, you will know all about this banana-ish, but not quite right scent. If, however, you've lived a pure life of nothing but actual bananas you will have no idea what you're smelling.

Moving past the scent, and overcoming my new craving for some Laffy Taffy, I dared to actually try one.

You know those corn starch packing peanuts that dissolve in water? These have the same shape, size, and texture. In fact, after the tasting I threw one in a bowl of water and it dissolved in exactly the same way the packing peanuts do. In retrospect, this isn't all that surprising since ingredient #1 is "Corn Flour".

This is after 30 seconds, so it actually dissolves faster than packing peanuts.

The stupider among you might be reading this thinking that upon tasting there's going to be some sort of redemption. Like in that piece of shit, Crash, when racist #8 does something slightly less racist at the end. Well, shit. What the hell's wrong with you? Crash? Why the hell do you have to go and get me all angry about that again? I'm already angry about wasting $1.50 on these horrible snacks.
Yes, they were horrible. Packing peanut texture with synthetic banana flavour and salt. Think about that for a minute: Banana and salt. They don't compliment each other like other sweet/salt combos. Maybe it's because the banana in this case isn't actually sweet. Or, maybe it's because there's a noticeable delay between the two and what you wind up tasting is fake banana aftertaste and salt. Or maybe it's just an annoyance that I should try to put behind me. Like that movie, Crash.

Who's it for?
Judging by the ingredients listing on the back, it's geared towards Spanish- and possibly Portuguese-speaking people.


Who might like it?
Masochists, synthetic banana enthusiasts, people who've wondered what it would be like to eat one of those packing peanuts.

Who should buy it?
Nobody. Not "just to try", not as a joke, not as a cruel prank, not even as packing material (the flavour seems to be a sprayed on glaze). Just don't do it.