Hell fucking no

I just saw an ad for the straight-to-TV/DVD/$1 Bin: Beethoven's 4th.

My first thought: That dog's gotta be long dead.
My second: Wait... what? They've already made three of those crapfests? Goddamnit, somebody needs to get beaten to death with a sock full of nickels.

While checking IMDB for verification that this was real, and not some sort of hallucination caused by the Cinnabon I had for dinner, I saw that there was a 5th sequel. GodDamnSonsOfBitches.
The question, now, is not "Why?", but "Who do I set on fire for this?"


In other disturbing movie news: Dead Silence

First, I saw the banner ad for this on I Watch Stuff, and it scared the shit out of me (when you move your mouse over it, the fucking eyes move). Then, I saw the television ad and I wanted to bleach my brain. And, just now, I saw this picture. I'm sleeping with the lights on for the rest of the month.

If you're anything like me, you're afraid of old women and dolls/puppets* (it's those cold, dead eyes). There is no way in a million years that I would ever be able to watch this film. It could be the cheesiest piece of shit ever made, and it would still scare the fuck out of me. Well done, Saw guys.

*The puppet fear probably started with these guys. Goddamnit, they freaked me out as a kid. At least now I can see that they're just unbelievably spooky wads of chenille with ping-pong balls and pipe cleansers glued to them.