Of all the fast food restaurants I have access to, you are my favourite. Your Chicken Whopper, with its lettuce and tomato and alleged flame broiled goodness, allows me to pretend I'm having something moderately healthy with my french fries. You stock CocaCola, the greatest of all the colas. Your mascot, the King, is creepy in a sort-of-amusing way, not a creepy-might-be-a-child-molester way; and, your ads never featured a boy band.
To top it off, you have the best toys. Not just cheap plastic figures, but actual toys. And watches. I love watches. I can remember begging my mom to go to Burger King for Jurassic Park or Nightmare Before Christmas or Simpsons watches, and more often than not being turned down. Now, I've reached the age where I can go to a fast food restaurant for toys if I damn
well please, and you know I do.Case in point: I saw an ad pimping the Simpsons Movie talking figurines and, within minutes, was in my car headed to the nearest Burger King for a Kids Meal. Imagine my shock when I left the drive through and found a Furby toy in my bag. Furby? What the fuck? First, those things are fucking scary. Second, that has to be at least three years old. They shouldn't even be in the store any more.
I figured that this was an isolated incident--assuming that the toys were available since the movie's premiere, it's logical that they might be temporarily sold out.
I tried another location a few days later and, once again, no goddamn Simpsons toy. Instead, I got some sort of Chicago Bears thing. Again, I ask: What the fuck? Why the hell would something like this be in a Kids Meal? How is a child going to play with that?You bitches had to have known that Simpsons toys would be massively huge sellers. In addition to the children who would normally be getting said toys in their Kids Meals, there are plenty of fanatical adult Simpsons fans who'd be looking for these. Now, it seems, neither group is getting their toys. I can handle missing out on a Mr. Burns figure, but I can't even begin to imagine the temper tantrums that go on when a 7-year-old pulls a fucking model of a football jersey out of his bag.
Nice work guys. Instead of giving small children the correct toys in their Kids Meals, you're selling them in bulk to people who put them on eBay.
You guys suck.
Love,
Kjhymn
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