I Still Hate Everyone: The Return

In this post I mentioned that they're allegedly going to be making a series of movies based on board games. The whole concept fills me with rage. Have we really turned in to such a cultural wasteland that we're no longer content to remake classic and foreign films, adapt books, comics, TV shows, or sketches from TV shows? It's only a matter of time before Coupon: The Movie is a grim reality.


Still, I knew I had seen a sketch about a "Chutes and Ladders" movie, but I worried that it had come from SNL or (shudder) Mad TV. Fortunately, it was a Robot Chicken gag, and was actually pretty funny.*

Note, this originally aired in 2006.
*Not funny: That this may actually happen.

Yeah, Wall-E isn't a Brad Bird joint. I'm less interested in seeing it. Still, I'd watch Pixar's worst film a million times over before I endure one of Dreamworks' crapfests or the steaming pile of celebretard-voiced shit that Horton Hears a Who looks to be. The commercials currently airing either pimp out the cast or feature a sing along of REO Speedwagon's Can't Fight This Feeling (and I'm so ashamed that I know that without the aid of google).


I'm mostly indifferent to the news that they might be remaking The Breakfast Club. I've seen parts of it on Sunday afternoon cable and have gotten enough of it to know that I don't like it. I think I'm about five years too young to have been swept away in the unstoppable wake of John Hughes teen comedies. I think it's asinine to remake it, though. From what I've read, they're doing a reimagining of the story and making it about twenty-somethings at an airport.

If they're going to do that, it should be pointed out that we already have a reimaging of The Breakfast Club. It's still set in a high school and uses the same lame-ass archetypes, but it has alien monsters and Robert Rodriguez and Elijah Wood transitioning from child actor to hobbit. That's right, bitches, The Faculty. Hell, there's even a scene where new girl/alien gives her own version of the last dialogue from The Breakfast Club.


I'm not proud, but I watched No Reservations on DVD. I can't even make a lame joke about it not being at all like Anthony Bourdain's memoir No Reservations. I knew that it would be horrible, and I'd hate myself for watching, but I figured there'd be some possibly decent food porn. No such luck. It's like Baby Boom, but without the delightfulness of Diane Keaton to make it tolerable. If Dark Knight doesn't kick ass, you're dead to me, Aaron Eckhart.