Project Runway: Week 5

The choice was: Watch a new Project Runway or a South Park rerun. South Park was tempting, but the whole "Cartman is desperate to make Stan suck his balls" b-story was just creepy. So, Project Runway it is!

Sweet P called eliminated Chris "delightful". Ha! I love that word.

Model Time! But these aren't models. Praise Xenu they didn't use family members again. Of course, now there's the chance that a woman who lost a shit-load of weight will be made to feel fat because she's not super-skinny. Please don't go there, PR.

Christian's already starting in the interview. It's not aggressively mean, but if anyone makes a "model" cry, my money's on him.

Steve gets wedding dress lady. Wait. That 80's overdone wedding dress was her favourite outfit?

Awww, Sweet P is last again. Her button must be stuck to the bottom of the bag.

So, the challenge is to design an outfit for a randomly assigned model using her former favourite outfit. Actually, this is an awesome amalgamation of former challenges (Clothes off your back in season 2, Family member fiasco in season 3, possibly something else I'm not remembering).

Off to the work room for model talking time!

So much Chris love. He barely existed before this. Wonder if they're setting us up for something. Hmm? Something related to the imminent departure of Jack that was all-but announced last week, maybe?

All these bitches seem pretty respectful to their models.

Christian's black-wearing, colour-and-print-hating model sounds like me. Did I black out and wind up on PR? No, she doesn't appear to be some sort of Asian.

It's fabric shopping time!

Oh, Steve, you are so screwed. If you don't use that dress they're going to kill you. Don't just use it as trim, damnit.

Back to the work room, and Jack is leaving. I'm strangely unmoved. He really didn't make much of an impression on me, and the interviews are probably post-treatment, so he's not dead. The designers? Are sad about it. Not to be totally insensitive, but this episode has spent a lot of time dealing with the designers' feelings. Quit moping and get to designing, bitches!

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Back to the show. In the workroom, Ricky is trying on the outfit he's making. Including the heels. Hee. Wait, is that a navel ring? Ew!

And Chris is back. So not shocked at all. But really? They didn't bring someone back when Keith left last season. Whateva, I'm over it.

Workroom working with models and shit. And we get to see clothes! Woo!

Christian did a poufy sleeve? Shocker. Still, the pleating on the front of that top is sort of working for me.

Did Steven dye his dress black? No, he just hasn't used any part of it yet. Jebus.

Tim Gunn is here, and is he mocking Christian? I choose to believe he is. Ha.

Okay, so Steve is just using that big-ass dress to make a collar and cuffs? It was nice to meet you, Steven, I'll be so sorry to see you go.

And Chris is talking sailor suits. If Laura Bennett couldn't make a sailor suit work, you sure as fuck can't. Gawd, don't these people watch past seasons?

Jillian is talking about her garment and I have no idea what she's saying, but I can't help but focus on her dictation. Jeff at Television Without Pity commented on it, but I totally didn't notice until now. It's sort of creepy.

Christian is talking shit about the other designs. He's not wrong about Steve, Chris, and Elisa making some fug-ass shit, but he used that "judges might die over/die because of" line before. It wasn't that clever to start with, and it definitely loses its sting the second time around.

Ricky's crying! Drink.
Crying in the interview, and then in the workroom! Drink again!

OMG! It's time to head out and Steve's not ready, but they're all such super-nice people that they're helping him. I'm inexplicably reminded of Steve's Titanic comment a few weeks ago.

Poll time: Who would you want to come back? Laura Bennett!

It's time for a fashion show! With our guest judge Patrick Robinson from the Gap. I guess this works. The Gap is clothes for normal people, and they're doing clothes for normal women. We'll see how this goes. He may just be bowled over by the unstoppable quipping, bronzing force that is TopAmericanDesignerMichaelKors and NinaGarciaFromElleMagazine.

Sweet P has a whole lot of olive/khaki fabric. Olive green plus orange skin is never good, but that dress is pretty cute.

Jillian apparently bought all new fabric to make the dress. I wonder how this will pan out. It's a super-cute halter dress that looks amazingly well-made and the black stripe detail is nice.

Ricky did a cute outfit with a sleeveless empire-waisted-ish flowy top and a pair of denim capris. It's cute, but I feel like the top is a little unflattering on her. The proportions seems to make her look way pear-shaped, but it could just be the terrible camera angles and the fact that I didn't get to see it for more than 5 seconds.

Chris's isn't a sailor outfit, thank buddha. But that top, the fit, my eyes! Gah.

I have to admit that I love Christian's outfit, poufy sleeves and all. The detailing on the shirt won me over. I would wear that shit.

And now we have Victorya's green velvet dress. It's pretty meh, and the lighting is so bad that I can't pick out any details.

Elisa's look has a top with a weird hem, and they don't show much of the fucking dress. I have no idea what's going on there.

Kit did a super-cute dress. I like how she used the original fabric as an under-layer on the skirt.

Kevin's strapless top looks really well tailored, but I've already decided that I love Christian's design. Plus leggings. Barf.

Steven's dress is so boxy and just yarg. He's so leaving this week.

Rami's dress had a great halter top and a really well-tailored skirt.

Kevin, Elisa, Jillian, Steve, Christian, and Chris get called out. At least this means I get to check out the fuggery. Elisa's dress has some weird layering going on. Unflattering. Steve's looks cheap and totally matronly. I have no idea if it's at all well-tailored and I know I loved Jack's square neckline last week, but this is just hideous.

Poll result: The people have chosen Daniel Vosovic. The people don't know shit.

And we're back with results. Christian wins, and I'm strangely pleased. Yes, he still sucks, but that design was kickass. To nobody's surprise, Steve is auf'ed. Goodbye, Steve, the next time I'm at the Museum of Science and Industry, I'll think of you. Then I'll go looking for the baby chickens that may or may not be there. Ricky, it looks like you're my favourite.

Next Week: It looks like they're making stuff out of garbage again. I'm sure there's a twist to it, and they're using, like, street vendor wrappers or something.