That's the first time I've been grateful for Coit Tower

If you decide to visit Coit Tower while in San Francisco--and you really should--for the love of gawd, walk there. You can drive, take a cab, or catch the bus to a nearby place, but if you value your sanity you will put on some sensible shoes and walk your ass up that hill. If my fat ass can manage it, you can too. If anything, you should do it for the sense of accomplishment you'll get.

In the full-sized version of this picture you can see a totally steep street leading up to Coit Tower. A street that I walked up.

My trek up to Coit Tower was something of a fluke. It was the last full day I was spending in San Francisco, and I had run out of stuff I absolutely had to do before I left. I suppose I could've gone to the Golden Gate Bridge or hung out in Haight-Ashbury for a while, but I'm lazy and Coit Tower was fairly nearby. Plus, it had been in my periphery for the entire trip like some sort of subliminal beacon.

We lucked out, and had an absolutely gorgeous sunny day that was perfect for gazing out at the city from its highest point.

Seriously. Pictures don't lie. That's the Bay Bridge from a vantage point near the tower.

From this spot, there was a twisty little nature path--unpaved, trees and plants and shit everywhere--that you follow to the tower itself. At one point we hit a fork in the path and could've walked up some stairs straight to the tower's doors or continued on towards the sound of rabid vermin. At my mother's urging to stop being such a wimpy little bitch (not her exact words), we went forward.

Kids, listen to your mothers, because sometimes they're right and you get to see cool as hell stuff like this:

Parrots. A huge flock of wild parrots.

This may not be news to some people, particularly those who've read or seen The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill, but I never expected to turn a corner and see a huge flock of wild parrots. Especially not in the middle of San Francisco, in the middle of winter. It was honestly one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

After goggling them for a while, we headed inside, bought tickets, and took the totally old human-operated elevator up to the top. The observation area is basically an open room with big plexiglass windows that give you a 360-degree view of the city.

It didn't occur to me to try and get a picture of Lombard street until I was on my flight home, but should you find yourself at Coit Tower, you would totally be able to get a kick-ass shot.

Note the coins on that window ledge.

While I didn't observe anyone making a deposit, it appears that people from all over the world leave behind souvenirs. I guess it's like the penny-squishing machines, but different.

I didn't donate to the fund that no one will ever collect and might just fall and kill somebody, because I had plans to buy myself to what might be the real San Francisco treat:

It appears to be a chipwich covered in chocolate and nuts. Sadly, I totally forgot about this when we got back downstairs. Still, who needs ice cream when there are parrots and breathtaking views and fights in the parking lot.

Yeah. Actually, not so much a fight as an argument, but it seemed like it could've erupted into an actual fight.

So, Coit Tower has what just might be the worst parking in the entire city. There's a circular lot that holds, maybe twelve cars; and, there's a single (bi-directional) road leading to and from the tower. There really isn't any room to turn around until you get to the top, so anyone driving up there might get stuck sitting in traffic while cars at the front wait for a spot.

While waiting for the bus that stops at Coit, I watched a woman and her sons stand in the handicapped parking spot to save it for someone in a car at the bottom of the hill. When a car with a handicapped tag showed up, this went over about as well as could be expected. They screamed at each other: she had someone coming, he didn't give a fuck. In the time that this went down, two or three additional spots opened and were filled by cars in the que.

The moral to this story? Unless you want to a source of entertainment for someone who will proceed to talk shit about you (and I totally did), walk up to Coit Tower. It's a fairly easy hike, and you won't be the subject of a story that starts "I saw whitest, trashiest people at Coit Tower today".