The lozenges, they do nothing!

My discipline has its limits. If I'm expected to go to work 5 days a week, stop going on costly makeup buying binges, diet, not purposely run over slow-moving pedestrians when driving to/from work, and drag my fat ass to the gym for 30 minutes of cardio every goddamn morning, something's going to fail.

So, yeah, I bought a pack of cigarettes last Monday. I have two left, and it's killing me. As I type this, I'm fighting the urge to smoke them and run out for a pack of Dunhills before the froufrou tobacco shop closes.

I didn't mean to backslide. I had been grudgingly engaged in week four of quittery, grinding my teeth and chewing generic Nicorette. Then I spent an afternoon watching the Venture Brothers season 2 DVD commentary. Commentary on all thirteen episodes, and those sons of bitches smoked through all of them. You try listening to the incessant lighter clicking and see how long you can hold out.

I didn't realize this would be the case, and had actually been avoiding any and all instances of people smoking. Patty & Selma-centered Simpsons episodes? A thing of the past. Wong Kar Wai films? Hell fucking no. That coffee shop that serves Irish coffee? Won't be visiting them or their smoking section for a long time.

There's also the part where I realized that of the people who decided to quit smoking with me, none had actually done it. Add on the fact that my morbidly obese relatives were regularly hounding me about my progress, while ignoring the fact that I could outlive them a million times if I smoked a carton a day. Seriously, none of those bitches exercise or eat healthy, and they haven't worn a single-digited dress size since the Nixon administration.

Anyway, I'll finish off this pack, and then it's back to the gum and the sweaty sleepless nights fantasizing about running down to the 24-hour drugstore, buying a carton, and smoking 4 cigarettes at once until the whole thing is gone crochet. I may feel like shit, but at least I'll know that I let a group of middle aged fatties bully me into doing something I didn't want to.