Project Runway: Week 1 Delayed Reaction

I'm seriously meh on Project Runway this season. I'm not sure if it's the show or my newfound lack of interest in TV. I'll see if I can manage to make it to week 3, unlike some other shows I started watching this season.

Anyway.

I planned on revisiting the first show after a few days for a delayed-reaction review, aided by Bravo's stills and possibly the blogs. I totally didn't do that. I didn't even check out Project RunGay for some funny bitchy commentary. I did, however, watch the rerun of the last half of last week's episode before this one.

Week 1 Delayed Reaction Review:

• Still hate Hippie Lady. I seriously can't stand her and her crazy spacey bullshit. She's like some unbearable Lupe/Angela/Vincent hybrid that I want to push off a balcony. Her dress? I don't care. She could make the greatest garment in the history of Project Runway, and I'd still hate it.
• Chicago Museum Guy's suit looked really well made. I don't even completely loathe the weird business in the buttock area. I might just wear the hell out of that.
  
• The Former Model's garment isn't as 1980's as I originally thought. But can you blame me? A gold lame top with prominent shoulders. Still, don't like it.
• Sweet P calls it a "happy dress"? Is that like someone calling their kid "special"? Seriously remedial. It looks like a pillow case that had shoulder straps attached to it.
  
• Straight Guy, your dress looks super cheap and extra assy. And that's even if you took away the weird silver thing over the abdomen.
• Hat Guy's dress was just a big mess.
  
• Not Sweet P and Other Woman made dresses that tread a fine line between sort of ugly and totally boring. No wonder I didn't remember them.
• PR!Frank and Pretty Boy made dresses that I rather like, despite the fact that both they had excessively poufy bows at the neck. Still, Frank's dress was a beautiful colour and looked--guh--expensive; and, Pretty Boy's dress was totally cute.
• I would've included New!Andrae's dress with those two for its cute-but-unremarkable status, but they totally called him out.
  
• Right Said Fred's dress is nice, and winner-ish, but there's something about the way the fabric was draped that totally embiggens his model on her right side. Seriously. Watch her walking the runway. Jiggling aside, it was unflattering in a non-specific way. Plus, the flower looked like my mother's fugly window treatments.
• That poufy-sleeved jacket by New Wave Boy is just so unappealing to me. Plus, I hate how his model was styled. The hair, the bronzer. Yarg.
• Korean Girl's dress is more appealing to me, because it seems like something I could realistically wear. Even the metallic flower isn't excessively offensive to me, because it looks almost abstract.
• The auf'ing of Sideswept Bangs seemed entirely justified, but still made me rage (see: Hippie Lady). Her dress was unremarkable, and if you can't finish something that basic, you have no business on this show.