First off, Heidi's looking less orange than last week. Since this is actually filmed right after the last runway show, it must've been due to the gold lame dress she was wearing last time.
Anyway, model time. They all have names, but I'm not going to learn any just yet. New!Andrae, stop acting like you're creating drama by switching models. No one cares until they're all bonded with their models and you try to steal someone's muse.
I sort of noticed this on the rewatch of last week's ep, but Chicago Museum Guy's model sort of looks like Season 3's Laura Bennett. Like, for real. It's not just because of the hair.
The challenge has to do with a "fashion icon". This never goes well. I don't even care who it is, except it's Sarah Jessica Parker, which... ew. Is she wearing leggings? She is. Double ew. I object to her alleged "fashion icon" status, given that it came from her TV show's costumer dressing her in some gag-tastic outfits that were occasionally less fug.
So, she's here to pimp her "clothing line", which was produced for a chain of stores whose shtick is, apparently, nothing over $20. As a result, her "line"'s initial release was pretty much panned by fashion professionals and consumers for looking like sub-Walmart crap.
Clearly, this competition is a trick. The designers want to win in order to get immunity, but winning could require them to make a garment that fits in with her collection of shitastic, poorly-fitted, polyester crap. Considering that, and the fact that the "leaders" are regularly punished in team challenges, the smart choice would be to throw the pitch competition. If you're a kick ass partner, no matter how hideous the final garment is, you're totally safe.
Now to the part where they work. Well, first they go through a pitch session with SJP. I remember very little of the actual pitches, but the thing that stands out is that most of the men did really beautiful colour sketches, while the women tended towards plain black & white.
And, Jebus tapdancing Christ, when Hippie Lady talks I want to punch my TV. I don't even know what she's saying but I want her to stop. Her sketch looks like a giant rain poncho or something. Gag.
Are jackets with leg-o'-mutton sleeves the only thing that New Wave Boy can do? So totally fug.
PR!Frank, your SJP worship is, like uber-creepy. Besides that, your constant crying paired with your status as this season's fatty makes me think you're actually to PR4 as Dave was to Top Chef Season 1. I may have to rename you PR!Dave.
Awww, SJP, don't look so put out that Straight Guy didn't shake your hand. I wouldn't even want to have to be in the same room with you.
Designers are selected, teams created, Hat Guy's name is Marion. Huh.
This week's lame-ass poll is "Whose fashion eye do you trust the most?" I'm inclined to go with M-Kors, if only because our respective black-on-black wardrobes are similar. I assume Tim will come out the winner, though.
Ad watch, or companies I will never buy from again because I hate their commercials:
- Bluefly.com for those naked woman commercials. I'm not opposed to naked women, but I think another company already annoyed me with these ads a couple years ago.
- L'Oreal for the ads with Beyonce. I also closed my AmEx account because they had ads with her useless ass.
- Not!Sweet P with PR!Dave - Big sweatshirt and leggings. It looks like something a broke college student would be forced to wear on laundry day. It also totally looks like it belongs with the SJP collection.
- Hippie Woman with Sweet P - Meh. I hate the colour (something about it screams "cheap" for some reason), plus capes are just renamed ponchos. Accept it. What the hell kind of wack-job spits on clothes, and then admits to it on the runway? Urge to kill rising...
- Right Said Fred with Pretty Boy - Yarg. Leggings. Again, it would probably fit in with the fug-ass collection.
- Marion with Chicago Museum Guy - It's reminiscent of Wendy Pepper's "Future Challenge" dress from Season 1. You know, the one with the recycled knit and the hideous falling-off fringe that Not!Ninagarcia said looked like something her cat puked up.
- New Wave Boy with Former Model - Gah, that colour again. That dress just looks cheap. Plus, the jacket? Gross.
- New!Andrae with That Woman - I'm surprised at how much I liked his dress. The colour was great, the ruffles around the neckline weren't as frilly as I feared, and the woven leather belt was an awesome touch.
- Korean Girl with Straight Guy - Cute again. I can't resist a black dress. The vest is actually pretty cute, and I like the bow detail on the neck. Would it fit in with the collection? Of course not, it doesn't look like sweatshop-produced ass. There's an inappropriate Asian joke in there, but it's just not coming to me. Definitely deserved to win, but totally inappropriate for that line. I have no doubt that they'll fuck it up and make it look super-assy.
I probably should've guessed that Marion would be auf'ed when I learned his actual name. I was grossed out that Hippie Lady was in the top 2, but maybe next week I'll learn her name and she'll get the boot.
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